Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
