dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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