It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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