oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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