Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
