I think I just saw someone hide a body.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
