Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
