Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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