If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
