I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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