Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
