Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
