i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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