I will die if light touches me.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Michael Bay diarrhea
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
