TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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