Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
