this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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