why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
