ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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