You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
