I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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