what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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