I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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