They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
