His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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