Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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