Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
