question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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