I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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