I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
love makes seman taste better
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
