Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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