Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
that is very illegal...i love you.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
