he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
