She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
