i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
