yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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