I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
