I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
