he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
