so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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