My first STD was from a foam party
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
