My Higher Power is John Stamos
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
