why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
