its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
