You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
