I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
