I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
