I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
