I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
