Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
