i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
